Been killing butterflies all week, should have climate change under control soon, grateful weathermen should send gratuities directly to my email address.
Fiscal Responsibility
Why do I have the feeling that when the government takes over my money, they will not do any better than me, at spending it wisely.
Wishful thinking
Stupidity has a half-life, intelligence is contagious.
Your carbon footprint
Can sometimes be hard to see through your jet wash, buying offsets are like pretending you are educated.
We don’t fall up
We are all here, because we are not all there.
Dial it back
You ask a $15 an hour guy to tune your rocket, when all he can understand is pointy end up.
Penny for your thoughts
But when I put in my two cents, your thoughts aren’t worth that much, are they.
Ban Tacos
The last time I ate at the local taco stand, I probably knocked two days off the life of the Earth. it was a beef taco too, them damn cows!
Cancel the Moon
Even if werewolves are just lore, the moon causes many more problems. Crime spikes, extreme waves, longer days and probably causes climate change and heart attacks.
The new reality
The dumbest thing a person can ever do, is assume you are not surrounded by stupid people.