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Order from chaos

Been killing butterflies all week, should have climate change under control soon, grateful weathermen should send gratuities directly to my email address.

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Fiscal Responsibility

Why do I have the feeling that when the government takes over my money, they will not do any better than me, at spending it wisely.

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Wishful thinking

Stupidity has a half-life, intelligence is contagious.

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Your carbon footprint

Can sometimes be hard to see through your jet wash, buying offsets are like pretending you are educated.

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We don’t fall up

We are all here, because we are not all there.

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Dial it back

You ask a $15 an hour guy to tune your rocket, when all he can understand is pointy end up.

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Penny for your thoughts

But when I put in my two cents, your thoughts aren’t worth that much, are they.

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Ban Tacos

The last time I ate at the local taco stand, I probably knocked two days off the life of the Earth. it was a beef taco too, them damn cows!

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Cancel the Moon

Even if werewolves are just lore, the moon causes many more problems. Crime spikes, extreme waves, longer days and probably causes climate change and heart attacks.

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The new reality

The dumbest thing a person can ever do, is assume you are not surrounded by stupid people.